Screwed Up Semester

*sigh* Another semester coming to an end, and this semester is no different either besides me being in another campus. It has been lots of Ups and Downs, well, I think more stuffs on the Down side. Haven't been consistently attending for lectures, missed a couple of assignments which is a big No No and yet here I am, still waiting and waiting and doing nothing when the final exams are just around the corner. I have a few assignments due before the exams, one of them worth a whooping 35% of my grade which I have to design a book cover, then another one which I have to complete by Monday with my partner (almost done with that one), one due tomorrow, which I have not have a look at yet *sigh* and the last one due next Friday. So all together 4 assignments and I have to admit this semester the assignments are killing me plus my lazyness. Perhaps I am cursed? I do not know but ever since I injured my head, there's this constant pain at the back of my head and at times it is pretty distracting. I am not sure whether I can get thru this semester without a scratch, everything seems pretty tough. At times, I really don't understand what the hell am I doing at all, I just sit in front of the PC and just stare at the screen (my buddy calls it "dilly dally") There is this one question up in my head, where do people get the determination to study study study most of the time as what a student should be doing. I need that answer quick or else I am going to be stucked as a student for the rest of my life. Last semester I had already noticed the lapse in concentration and determination to do well in my studies, as a result, my grades wasn't that good. This semester most probably be hopeless, but I guess it is never too late to pick it up. But how? How to pull myself together? Ironically there has not been any major happenings this semester, so no distractions at all, just that head incident. Perhaps that was the turning point. A friend told me that perhaps I'm getting bored with life in Australia, that's why I'm not doing well at the moment.*sigh* Just feeling lazy. I'm even too lazy to update the blog frequently, hopeless.

In realisation
Lately, I realise something, something that is not so good news for me. I realise that I have a problem with my eye-sight. I know, it's not a big deal but to me I always hope that I will have a perfect eye-sight, why? So I can realise my childhood dream as a pilot. But that's just a dream. Another thing I realise is that I'm losing confidence every second. Everyone who knows me sort of said what happen to the person I was last time, full of confidence.*sigh* I don't feel the same way as I do, or maybe I have to realise that I have been declining like forever. Have you ever had people telling you that you are smart but you think you are not? Or perhaps you just look smart but actually you are not? Questions but no answers.

Naggings...
My mum always reminds me that she's waiting for me to graduate. She always says that she can't wait for me to graduate. She always says that I should quickly graduate so that she can quit her job. She always says that she is getting sick of her job and she is getting old. She always says the same sentences as mentioned when I call back home and have a chat with her. And everytime before she hungs up, she will say "You know you can do it because you are smart" and yet everytime she says that she is getting old, I would never thought of her being old when I look at the family photo I have in my room.




see what I mean when I say she doesn't look old? =b
and she gave me this teddy bear so that it will remind me to graduate as soon as possible -.- pfft





Ben

Girls, women, they are all the same...

Can't believe I am really writing this. It has been a while since I last make an entry in my blogspot, as always. This is week 9 of Uni, another couple of weeks I will have my finals, pfft. Went for classes yesterday, kinda weird, after the break, when I hardly do anything useful. Today, I skipped my classes, why? Boring. Hopefully I will be able to catch up during the tute session tomorrow. Well, lets see what happened today. I woke up quite early and decided not to go for classes, so I continued sleeping and ended up waking in the afternoon, about 1pm, how pathetic. Then I watched the last chapters of Gundam SEED Destiny, as always, I find all the japanese animes' ending kinda anti-climax, it does not represent the whole series as a whole, maybe it is on purpose, something for us fans to think about after the series ended, pfft, as if. Ahaha, I know, I know, I am off topic, almost forgot about the title of the blog today =b. So, before I get to that topic, I would just want to talk about today. So after watching anime, got a call from my friend asking me to play soccer, so I say OK. So, here I am, blogging, after I had my dinner and shower.

Starts here...
So it begins, why talk about this today? Oh, I wanted to talk about this quite a bit, long long time ago. Just so happens that something just clicked today and I have to talk about it =b. I went to my work place (the restaurant) to get my dinner. Like usual, I would go to the kitchen and greet everyone, as if =b and yea, went to my favourite spot to check out who's working there, and there she is, standing at the counter. I sort of knew she was working today, erm, actually because went I drove by the restaurant I kinda saw a some what similar figure in the restaurant, pfft, luckily it's not the boss's wife =b. Anyways, I head downstairs and say "Hello" and she "Hie" me back. Oh wait, no, she saw me upstairs before that, checking her out, and she smiled at me and I smiled back at her. I reckon that girls/women, they know it when people are checking them out, I think it is like their sixth sense or something. There was this time the boss's wife (she works downstairs, kitchen is upstairs) noticed that I was standing at my favourite spot (sort of like a balcony, you have the whole view of the restaurant except for the part under the kicthen)and she said "Don't you have anything else to do in the kitchen? Checking out 'gal' (better not mention who) is it?" I was like "Yea, nothing much to do up here, might as well enjoy the view *laughs*" and I think the boss's wife said something to her and that 'gal' looked up and smiled. So I think she knows all this while that someone is watching from above, guess who? =b Anyways I wana quote something that I saw from a comedy show, this comedian, he said "I love women too much to get married..if you love women and you get married, you only just love woman.." well, that is so so true, but try to put that "married" word into something more suitable, erm, something like "attached" maybe?
But of course, I'm not saying that it's good to be like that, in the end, at the moment, I think guys like me, all we wanted is companionship or something more? pfft..so I say, girls and women they are all the same, they are there for the companionship. Woh, wait a second, I treat any other female just like an equal to myself, so don't get me wrong. So, I don't see myself going out with the gal I talked about just now, no no, not "attached" to her. I can see myself chating with her, maybe a little bit of flirting going on, you know what I mean? Nothing more than that, not like holding hands, sharing each other personal thoughts/problems/etc, no, not like that. I am too insecure to get steady into a relationship. So yea, is that why I am so so solo? Another good example, I like to hang out with my friend's gf, erm, if he is reading this, I hope he doesn't misunderstand, but anyways, yea..but of course, nothing more than that, it is just fun having her around. But mind you, not every girl that I met gave me the same feeling. Some are just so annoying and you don't feel really comfortable when hanging out with them, some just makes you feel that the moment will never end, that says a lot about that gal. Arh, so tired talking/writing about gals, makes me feel exhausted =b
I guess that's about it for today, pardon me if there is/are some mistake/s in the entry. Before I take leave, I present you my latest photos =b enjoy!









my hair always look funny after a haircut -.- so tell me, when can you find a cheerful Ben?

Ben